Now, Drs. Bill Miller and Stephen Rollnick have applied that same logic to the change method they call Motivational Interviewing, or MI” They recognized that stopping using was a choice. People make choices because the choice feels good. That’s why users use. So they developed a form of substance abuse counseling in which sobriety feels good.

Underlying Principles

• The Client Makes the Choices. Nothing is more natural than for counselors to believe that they can somehow “make the client to see the right thing to do and do it immediately” before something really problematic happens. That sets up a power struggle. Not helpful.
• The MI Therapist Is Consistently Supportive and Calm (Even a Bit Casual). Almost nothing is more natural than for the therapist to start getting upset when the client then doesn’t change, despite the therapist’s best efforts (and all that lengthy training). That introduces a bit of tension into the therapeutic encounter. Not necessarily helpful. Not to worry – in MI, you just relax. As you relax, the client relaxes.
• The MI Therapist is Patient. Patience works. So, MI counselors are patient. The client has to make the positive choice, and that can take time.
• The Client Will Make a Healthful Shift Under the Right Conditions. Therefore, the main thing the MI counselor is doing is creating the conditions in which the client can make a healthful shift in thinking and behavior. Calm, casual, relaxing, patient; no pressure; no demands. Mainly, just a lot of polite questions at first – an interview. And, eventually, a shift from the negative (the laundry list of stressors) to the positive (the client’s successes). Clients thrive on success.
• Ambivalence. Initially, people with serious substance issues will often proclaim clearly to anyone who will listen that they do not have a problem, and that they do not, therefore, plan to change. And no one can make them. However . . . in their heart of hearts they know things have gotten out of control and are careening toward disaster. In their heart of hearts, they want to change. In other words, they are ambivalent. Ambivalence is the key to MI.

People who use too much think using is both good and not so good. How does that help? How does that make choosing sobriety comfortable and satisfying? Here’s how:

Techniques

• Allow the Client Plenty of Opportunity to Speak. Use a calm, patient, casual/no-pressure manner. You’re really waiting for the client’s ambivalence to surface, waiting for the client to shift from the negative side of life to the positive side of life; from a destructive approach to living to a constructive approach to living. “Yeah, I use. Maybe too much. I don’t know.”
• Positive Active Listening. Active listening in client-centered counseling means that as you listen to the client you reflect – paraphrase and summarize – what the client is saying to make sure that you actually understand. Reflections are typically neutral. However, active listening in MI is both neutral, as in client-centered counseling, and strategic, meaning that the bulk of the reflection emphasizes the positive side of what the client is saying. For example, the client says, “I’m pretty sure I’m going to go drinking this weekend, but . . . I’m not sure that’s a great idea”. A neutral reflection (good to use when you’re not sure what the client is actually saying) would be, “So, you’ve been thinking about drinking, but you feel it would just make things worse. Is that right?” However, a reflection with a positive bias, keying in on only the positive side of the ambivalence, might be, “Uh-huh – you’re having second thoughts; you think it might be best to not drink. Is that right?” That would look like this:

Negative Side: “I’m going drinking this weekend”
Positive Side: “I’m not sure that’s a great idea” Reflect this side!

•    A more subtle form of this kind of positive reflection would be to give a more balanced reflection, but to emphasize the positive side: “Mmmm, so you’re thinking about drinking, but you’re also thinking, ‘Hey, uh-oh – here I go again. Drinking too much!” You’re asking yourself, “Is this really a good idea?’ Is that right?”
•    Roll with the resistance. Initially, there’s a lot of resistance in recovery. Resistance is the negative side of the ambivalence. Here’s a typical expression of resistance: “I don’t know why I even have to come here. You’re not really helping. I just come here because I have to, because other people are making me. I don’t really care, anyhow.” The technique here is just to go along with the opposition, or roll with the negativity. It doesn’t matter what you say. Just go along, because it’s going to pass anyway. You are just waiting for, and helping the client to ease back onto, some kind of a constructive track. So, a workable response, a combination of reflection and self-disclosure – agreeable, yet moving back into the positive frame might be, “Yeah, you’d really like to not be here. I don’t blame you. I’d probably feel the same way in your place.” There’s a lot of resistance in recovery. You just wait it out.
•    Appreciate the Positive. A second positive technique is just to give straightforward praise for the positive side of the client’s thoughts and actions. For example, a typical, mostly negative statement in counseling might go something like this. “Well, I drank again. I know I promised I wouldn’t. I even stayed out all night. Blew my paycheck, of course. Now I’m stuck for the week again with no money. I only did one good thing – I went to my daughter’s sixth grade graduation.” Throughout the negatives the client is waiting for you to pounce and seize on the them, just as the client does all the time. But as an MI counselor you don’t do that. You are casually present, maybe using a little active listening here and there, but mostly just rolling with all that resistance. However – and this is critical – at the point where the sixth grade graduation is mentioned, then you becomes really excited and interested. “No kidding? Your daughter’s sixth grade graduation! How did that go? Tell me about it.” You showcase the successes. You allow the client to expand on this very positive piece of parenting. As an MI counselor, you genuinely appreciate the clients’ own excited movement toward growth, and focus on that. You shine a light on their best features, and they begin to do the same.
•    Intrinsic, Self-Reinforcing Motivation. Now, here’s what starts happening in this process. The client slowly discovers that you’re not going to belabor all the negatives. You don’t even really seem all that interested, except as it affects the client. What the client discovers is that you are fascinated by the client’s successes. What the client discovers is that counseling is a showcase for things that make the client feel proud and happy. The client begins to pay attention to personal ambitions and successes in the real world. Every day, every week brings new successes. The client starts to feel good, to experience hope, self-esteem, and excitement in living. The client learns positive self-regard, and acquires the habit of positive self-talk.
•    Sobriety. Clients no longer needs substances to feel good. The costs of using now outweigh the benefits. Therefore, they make the positive choice.
Benefits of MI
•    Fewer power struggles.
•    Less stress on the client.
•    Less stress on the counselor.
•    A positive approach to self and others that the client can learn and pass on to family and friends.
•    Sobriety that is based on feeling good about living and thus is intrinsically motivating.

Resource:
Miller, William, & Rollnick, Stephen. (2002). Motivational Interviewing: Preparing People for Change (2nd ed.). New York: Guilford Press

Dr. Steve Davidson is in practice in Newport Beach. He specializes in ADHD and other disorders of impulse management and goal-seeking. sdavidsonphd@aol.com; www.newportbeachpsychology.com.

MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING – Steve Davidson, PhD

Objectives

1.    The student will learn how to use active listening that has a positive bias.

2.    The student will learn how to roll with client resistance by using casual, agreeable responses.

3.    The student will learn how to decrease client negativity and how to increase client positiveness by focusing on the positive side of ambivalence.

Post-Test

1.    T F Active listening in MI means that all reflections by the counselor of client statements should be balanced, neither emphasizing the negative side of the client’s statements, nor the positive side.

2.    T F Rolling with the resistance means the MI counselor should wrestle with the client’s negativity and not allow the client to expand on negative issues.

3.    T F The MI counselor should showcase the client’s successes, even if those successes are more than outweighed by numerous problems calling for immediate correction.

BOUNDARIES

I would like to explain this subject in two parts. Many times when you intervene, you are alone in a city, with the added pressure of the case or for some–the feeling of boredom. You must be careful; you can be vulnerable by being enticed or feel the need for some type of relief or diversion.

I recall a case, where a woman called me, regarding wanting to drop off some letters from family members that had just arrived. I was staying in a hotel and she wanted to hand deliver the letters. She asked for my room number and floor. I thought about it and responded with, “I’ll meet you in the lobby.” Complaints have been filed against interventionists regarding these issues (another series). You must be careful–especially with perceptions. I cannot imagine a male interventionist traveling with a female client alone–either by car or plane and visa versa. One must be aware of accusation and liability (another future topic). You must have boundaries or you could end up paying a major price!

Boundaries regarding service. My entire work in intervening has been around refining and motivating the addicted to enter a treatment center. The art of engaging, presenting and motivating is a study in itself plus managing it as a business. Once a therapist stated to me, “Ed I admire you because you have boundaries in intervening—you refer to treatment centers, to qualified therapists and ongoing follow-up groups. You don’t cross boundaries, your forte is in intervening, not therapy, and you understand it.”

I have always felt my art is in intervening not coaching; no continued post therapy or directing my own outpatient groups. Sometimes, I feel the interventionist sees the intervention as the lead in to their therapy business and the therapy business is really their passion or perhaps it pays better? I am not sure what is right, wrong, plus or minus. Some folks are much better therapists than interventionists and they may need to look at that aspect.

If you intervene—follow-up is a major part of the intervention process. It is the package. When I refer to licensed therapists with proper credentials to assist with the post follow-up intervention, I exhibit honesty to not only the group but also to myself.

ARE YOU LIKEABLE?

This has to be one of the most intriguing topics. Do people like you? Not sure? Some folks would be better off left in the back office versus working up front with the public. I am amazed with high-end treatment facilities that advertise the best of the best treatment for your loved ones and are viewed on their brochure as picture perfect. There are times when the patient is being transported from the airport–that the representative from the facility–is the exact opposite of professionalism (many of you know what I am talking about).

I have noticed in some treatment centers that the Intake/Admissions person should never be the first person to greet the new client! Some interventionists are angry people–yet, believe they are likable. Some come across as arrogant, controlling and explosive. Some facility staffs will tell you they do not like admissions from certain interventionists due to the above issues.

Remember, if people are attracted to you and enjoy being around you, this can be a wonderful start toward a very fulfilling career. Please also remember, there is sincere delusion in some!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET YOUR REFERRALS?

Many times, interventionists want the facility to refer clients and the facility wants the interventionists to refer their clients. An interesting wheel that keeps on turning.

When I started intervening in the mid seventies, you designed your business around your catchment area (surrounding area). You then worked off of your self-referrals (people telling people). I associated with a few treatment centers. I appreciated their expertise/ethics and hoped they might refer to me someday. Quite frankly, this still might be a good business plan for new inductees.

Obviously, there is the web, pay per click, public relations firms, and links to intervention businesses’. It goes on and on! Maybe what needs to be said is that treatment centers have bombarded intervention advertising and now have created a way to refer back to themselves (having a cadre of interventionists primarily referring to one facility). Thinking you can out-bid centers, corporations and big business is not going to happen! Most interventionists that have spent their individual money to advance themselves on search engines or links have been disappointed regarding inquiries and paid interventions. Little by little, business will arrive when you are ready; just do not over-spend in doing so. If you build it–they will come!

CAN YOU BE OBJECTIVE?

This is sensitive. You receive a referral from XY center; you assess the case and realize the case is not appropriate for XY center. I have tried calling the center yet only to be told that this is the type of patient they specialize in and look forward to handholding the patient as well as the family through the process.

The client begins treatment and it is an immediate disaster (another subject). The family is calling stating, “Why were we not told of the nuances of this center; we are deeply disappointed and feel betrayed.” As one family member stated to me regarding their experience with a center, “At the beginning, they took all my phone calls but once I wrote the check, I couldn’t get anyone to call me back.”

From the very start of my career, I knew that it would not work to admit to only one facility. I work with a few facilities and if I receive a referral from one and the case goes to another facility then I keep the first facility in mind when it is appropriate. I believe many interventionists are this way; I have seen a few who are gunslingers or bounty hunters. Yet, most do due diligence and refer the patient to the most appropriate facility. Always trust your gut instinct. Sometimes, the intellect gets in the way! Always do the right thing.

DO YOU WANT TO WORK WITH SICK PEOPLE?

Honestly, this topic seems so basic, but the truth is when the patient or family is difficult you will get reactions from your staff or interventionists saying the person is a pain and they are very sick (one of the sickest of the sick)! Another is when the interventionist’s ego is at stake and the war of words is fought. I have realized, over the years, that many times it is not the patient it can be you! We sometimes get to a place where our tolerance level is diminished or you never had tolerance for un-healthy clients. Some want a career change but do not know what to do and still others feel stuck and decide to intervene thinking it might be the best of worlds but they do not connect with ill people.

Compassion, empathy, respect and passion is something you have or don’t have. You will be tested on these levels when you work in the field of addiction as an interventionist. Please understand, my tolerance of highly difficult cases has diminished and I realize it—that is why I refer to others who have a zest to accept and perform these types of cases. We need to know our limitations and accept them. However, it is nice to know them before we jump into a career change!

CAN YOU HANDLE INDEPENDENT WORK?

When I left being an intervention specialist for a local hospital and went on my own, I did not realize the loneliness. I became an independent. I did not have the daily support, friendliness and camaraderie. I seemed cut off. Colleagues and hospitals told me they were happy for me and would certainly refer to me. Each day I patiently waited for the telephone to ring, only to be disappointed because only a few referrals came my way. I felt at times they were jealous or did not care. The truth is you are only as good as the referents understanding of intervening and their capability of deciphering potential clients (true today). In addition, people were happy for me but they had salaried or hourly jobs and saw me as the same. They did not understand that it is one week or one month to the next paycheck.

My success came by not depending on any one entity but appreciating each referral one at a time. Intervening is you, family and your higher power. I am always proud when an interventionist reaches out and calls me for my recommendation or thoughts. They have learned to reach out!

To be an independent intervention specialist takes discipline. Remember, too much free time is dangerous. The book, E-Myth, talks about being a great chef or mechanic but you might not be a terrific business organizer.

Just be aware it is a slow process and it is good to have a “business sponsor” that you can meet with on a weekly or bi-monthly basis. It is great to follow your dreams. You cannot live life wishing you should have tried or wished it could have been different. Just be sure and think it through, realizing the cash flow you need or don’t need and then, follow your heart!

I hope you have enjoyed my thoughts and perceptions. My next article will be “The Ten Complaints From The Public About Intervention Specialists.” Thank you for the terrific e-mails. I appreciate each one of you taking the time to write me. Remember, keep your head held high, shoulders back and breathe deeply!

In gratitude, Ed Storti

I believe this because I am a product of an intervention. I have the gift of being able to help people break the cycle, and that gift was given to me when an intervention was performed on me in 1989.  I was addicted to crystal meth, alcohol and anything I could get my hands on. I believed I could stop on my own, but I was wrong. My employers sat me down with a professional interventionist and, in a loving way, told me I needed some help. Because of the intervention, I agreed to go into a treatment facility and have been clean since July 14, 1989.

I’m now an addiction interventionist and have been working in the field for most of my sobriety.  I ended up in this line of work because of my own personal experience with addiction and because of my passion for helping others. Being able to help people break through the walls of addiction and denial is a gift that I will cherish until the day I die.

With addiction, there’s a wall of denial that needs to be broken through before the healing can begin. Like many other medical conditions, addiction can run in the family. Ten percent of the people in the world are born with a gene that makes them vulnerable to addiction. I had an incredible upbringing and I’m an addict while my sister is not. It’s the luck of the draw, so to speak.

Sometimes people blame the parents or the family. I work with hundreds of families all over the world.  While some of them are difficult, just as many are loving parents, yet their child suffers with addiction. Sometimes parents are addicts, but the children are not.

It’s important that people who blame get more education. Certainly family behaviors and trauma can do damage and can magnify the addiction but that’s not the root cause of addiction.

Addicts can be the most selfish people in the world – when using – and people who love addicts often experience a lot of anger. That can be a healthy anger if they’re angry about the addiction. They have to separate the addiction and their loved one. Addicts aren’t bad people, they’re sick people. Instead of being angry with the addict, stand up in front of the addiction and say, “I love you, but I’m not going to love you to death.”

Many families and loved ones can be helped by participating in Al-Anon or counseling before, during and after the addict finds recovery. In order for lasting sobriety, the environment around the addict must change.  When the family gets help for themselves, they can learn to support recovery and not the addiction.

Standing up to addiction isn’t easy. Between addiction and the human spirit, addiction is stronger, but families become unified, they can become stronger than the addiction. The individual cannot fight the addiction alone once it has gone to a certain level.  That’s why there are treatment centers all over the world.

In America there are 23 million Americans suffering from addiction, and only one per cent of them get treatment on their own. The denial is so strong that it requires a combined effort.

Environment plays a huge part in people’s addiction.  One has to create an environment that stops the addiction. To stop the addiction, the addict has to hit bottom and realize that he/she doesn’t want to live that way. That is when we come in to intervene and help raise the rock bottom of the addict so it does not result in jail or death.

We facilitate the healing process by getting as many family members, friends, co-workers or loved ones as we can, together in one room to confront the addict.

Most of the addict’s prayers are, “Please don’t let me wake up tomorrow. I don’t want to live this way.”
For some reason, when you have all these people in a room talking about how much they love the addict, it gives the addict a bit of hope and the will to want to stay alive.

There’s no cookie cutter formula for an intervention.

Doing an intervention on a prescription medication addict is completely different than on someone who is getting their drugs off the street. What addicts have in common is that they all need to hit some form of bottom in order to break through. Every addict hits bottom where using is not as fun as it used to be .  When drug use is more devastating than wanting to seek help.

Professional interventionists help to create the type of rock bottom appropriate for a particular addict.

Every single addict who finally puts an end to their addiction – hits what the general public knows as “rock bottom”. But what exactly is “rock bottom”? And how many different ways are there to get to that painful, yet powerfully healing place? Here is what I have come up with:

HELPS: The five “rock bottoms” (Health, Emotional, Legal, Personal Finances and Spiritual) and why each of them works.

Health  bottom:  This is usually very effective at stopping the addiction, since it usually means the addict is confronted with failing health and left with no choice but to either quit or die.

Emotional bottom: This can be a variety of things, but it’s usually when addicts have pushed so many people from their lives that the emotional strain becomes too great for them to bear.

Legal bottom: This happens when the law intervenes. It’s when their addiction has caused them to break the law and they have some form of legal action being taken against them. This leaves the addict with no choice but to end the addiction or face criminal charges.

Personal finances bottom: This takes place when addicts have used up all their resources—money, possessions and everything they own—leaving them with nothing but their own addiction.

Spiritual bottom: This is something very personal between the addict and his or her God. It can be incredibly powerful, but also very difficult to predict.

All of these bottoms are equally powerful and each has the potential to stop an addiction in its tracks, so that the loved one can once again reclaim his or her life. Best of all, the five “rock bottoms” are easy to remember since they spell out the word “HELPS”—something that each rock bottom does either individually or collectively to cure the disease of addiction.

In an intervention, we teach the family how to determine what the rock bottom will be for an addict, and how to take steps to bring about his or her rock bottom on as many levels as possible on the day of the intervention

There is an emotional bottom which is what we deal with in a professional intervention. We see people quit drinking because they ended up driving drunk with their kids in the car and they don’t remember how they got home. For some, that’s enough of an incentive. We try to pull at an addict’s heart strings in order to beat the addiction.

If that’s not enough, then there’s the financial bottom. That’s what ultimately worked for me – I got fired from my job and had no way to support myself. A lot of families give the addict money.  We get them to agree to stop doing that. We may go to the employer and ask him or her to support the intervention by cutting off the money.  However, there are times when we have no control over this bottom, like when an executive or business owner has plenty of money to live on even if they stop working.

With the legal bottom, many people go to treatment because the courts say, “You either go to jail or you go into treatment.”

Every human being has a living nightmare, meaning a bottom, and we have to figure out how to make that nightmare a reality in a respectful and loving manner.

We only do this if they choose not to go into treatment after the letters are read and they did not hit that emotional bottom. The more bottoms that can be hit the better the chances are of success.

Often family members turn away because they simply feel they’ve done all they can.  I believe the only time to close that door is when the addict stops breathing. Do whatever you can to pull your loved one back. Closing the door while your loved one is still alive is a lose-lose situation.  The addict goes further into addiction, and the family members’ hearts still ache. Love doesn’t stop.

Interventions work. It worked on me and I have seen it work for countless families. But an intervention is only the beginning of the road to recovery for the addict and the family. There is a lot of work ahead for everyone.

But, the intervention alone is not the answer.  My goal is to build a barrier between the addict and his disease.  One way to do that is to have the addict agree to longer term treatment and to participate in a yearlong monitoring program upon release from treatment.  We could greatly increase the length of sobriety for addicts through monitoring.  We have evidence from other monitoring programs such as Drug Court and Doctor’s Diversion programs.  For the high licensed professional and for those in trouble with the law, a forced participation in monitoring increases the odds of longer term sobriety.  Why then is it ok for addicts who exit treatment to not be given the same opportunity for success?

As a provider of one aspect of the treatment continuum, I feel it is imperative that we do everything we can to increase the chances of addict’s success in recovery.  Long term monitoring (one year minimum after treatment) is a positive step in that direction.

Interventions work, but an intervention is only the beginning of the road to recovery.

The payoff for me is seeing families heal and find the love and happiness they thought was gone forever.  If you have someone you love that needs help, please contact a professional.

Many are attracted to the field of addiction and once they hear about the specialty of intervention they decide to enter the rank as an intervention specialist.   They do so with respect, determination and compassion.  Some hope to intern as an apprentice with an experienced interventionist and learn the intricacies and nuances of the craft.  Yet, today, this is difficult, because there is limited training for an interventionist.  Although some ask me for advice, the majority will try to figure out what it takes to create a business and be successful.

So let us begin!  If I were to sit down and advise a bright, shining, intern on what a “profile” of an interventionist is, I would keep the dialog simple and to the point.  I would then map out the following points one needs to consider before entering the field as an intervention specialist:

BE AT HARMONY WITH YOURSELF

I believe, to intervene and be of service to families, you must be at peace with self. It is very difficult to offer hope to patients and families if you are a person who lives in disharmony.  If one is experiencing anger, rage, and a pending divorce or has a great deal of resentment, one must first deal with these issues in order to free oneself.   When intervening, you must at all times, be in the moment of your case.  You cannot be occupied with negative emotions.

IF MARRIED OR IN A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP—BE UNIFIED

To be an interventionist takes time and much of the time is spent away from home -  holidays, weekends, special family gatherings, weddings, etc…  You must have a mate that agrees to this lifestyle.  I am blessed with a supportive spouse who has always been there for me.  Without her support, I could not have spent so many years in my craft.  You will need your mate’s support, understanding, compassion and being there for the family’s needs when your head is going over, “Why didn’t that client go to treatment today?”  Support on both ends is so needed.   Intervening is not an 8 to 5 job.

ARE YOU A PERFECTIONIST?

I honestly believe that when families pay us compensation, they want a perfectionist.  If I need a surgeon, I hope he/she is a perfectionist.  I hope my dentist is a perfectionist along with my mechanic and my electrician (you get the picture).  Truly, we deal with life and death issues.  If you have a lackadaisical attitude or give only a certain percent of your energy, then intervening is not for you. There is a saying in the medical field:  there are no minor surgeries, only minor surgeons.  You must deliver the finest quality of workmanship and being a perfectionist is a foundation.

CAN YOU EXCEPT REJECTION?

Intervening can bring out many different emotions from the family and patient.  I have had the patient say, “Thank you for this wonderful gift” to “How dare you, get out of my house!”  Families can also be perplexing.   Remember, blood is thicker than water.  You must always go over risk factors prior to an intervention—otherwise, families can turn on you!  Remember, this is stuff you bring home after the case.  Can you separate your work from your home life?

FINANCIAL UPS AND DOWNS

Over the years, I have said to many new interventionists, “Don’t quit your day job!”  An amazing statistic shows 9 out of 10 of those intervened upon will enter treatment after their intervention (rather standard).  Yet, only 1-10 inquiries will result in an intervention (reasons for not going forward are:  money, split camps in the family, maybe the problem will go away).  There is a lot of inquiry time spent on the phone that you chalk up to community service because most callers are just looking and are not yet convinced addiction is lethal.   Some callers are looking for a bargain; others work one interventionist against another.  When you have a business based upon how many times a day the phone rings (reactive business) you will always find ebb and flow.   When I want the phone calls to slow down during the holidays, it seems people are asking for interventions on Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve and wanting it NOW!  This is what we in the business classify as reactive business.

12 STEP RECOVERY IS YOUR TRAINING

Recovery from addiction does not mean you are now a professional specialist.  Recovery means you are now sensitive to the addictive client and that is what attracts you to the field of addiction treatment.  You must be astute in the disease concept, other pathologies, treatment models, intervention methods and have a vocabulary that is clean and concise, yet not overbearing (hopefully, you are a likeable person). I include people’s recovering testimonials in my interventions for age and gender.  It can be very moving and hopeful.  On the other side, I have had recovering participants from families come across rigid, know it all, and inappropriate.  To be an interventionist, you must hold your profession for all to see and admire.  You represent a spoke in the wheel of your profession.

TO INTERVENE IS DRAINING

I cannot explain the energy it takes to completely involve yourself in a case– physically, psychologically and spiritually.  There is no easy intervention.  It is always emotionally tiring–especially when results seem bleak.  Prior to an intervention, I fast.   For whatever reason, I lose my appetite.  I also do not sleep well before the intervention.  It has always been like this for me since I started intervening.  If a case does not go well for me, I tend to brood or keep going over should, could and would have’s. We in the field, often say to intervene is to induce a crisis in the additive’s life.  I also realize to intervene creates crisis in all the participant’s lives.  It is hectic, courageous and exhausting.  The interventionist deserves every dollar they charge for being available to jump into the frying pan and tolerate the heat!    When you go home after a case, you have to change and be a husband, wife, partner, mom or dad.  Many need time to decompress.

DO YOU LIKE CHAOS?

I have believed for a long time that most addictive people are attracted to the double edge sword of living.  In other words, they are attracted to living on the edge.  This might work for you in a positive manner when you are a recovering addicted person and work in the field of addiction.  If you can be calm within a storm, then you have the making for being an interventionist.  The opposite can be problematic when one lives a chaotic life as an interventionist and passes his disharmony and instability on to his clients.  This is not only chaotic for you but also for your colleagues and those you serve.  You must be stable to attract participants to follow your lead.  One must show steadiness to attract calm.  I believe that intervening can be intoxicating (ask new interventionists and they will tell you they love the rush in pursuing the moment).  If you do not like chaos or getting involved in people’s problems, you may not want to pursue this specialty!

MARATHONS OR HALF MARATHONS?

To intervene and offer a full range of service is to run a marathon.  It can be very time consuming when returning calls (loved ones, friends, colleagues, and shoppers) and answering inquiries.  Assessing a case can take another block of time, extra phone calls and meetings.  You must continually do research, prepare the family, intervene, make follow-up calls and perform other aspects of the case.  In each case you must exceed expectations and deliver due diligence.

On some cases you lose money due to the hours spent and on others your return is acceptable.  A great deal of time is spent on communicating and re-communicating when you treat families the same way you would want your loved ones treated.  Remember, a marathon is 26.2 miles not 18 or 20.  Once a family hires you to perform–you have promised you will run the 26.2 miles.

I hope you have enjoyed Part I of this 2 part series.  Part II will include more insights and successes.

Many were allowed to lose their jobs, families, material belongings, health, and even their lives before they were presented with some form of reprieve from their disease.  More found his/her “bottom” in death than in recovery.  Instead of waiting for an addicted individual to reach their “bottom” today a crisis can often be precipitated so that treatment becomes an accepted alternative.  This is called an intervention.

Intervention is a process in which a chemical/activity abusing or other addicted individual is confronted by caring members (CAREFRONTING) about his/her environment.  In the carefrontation, the dependent/addicted individual is helped to take an accurate and realistic look at how the substance or activity is affecting the people who are important and many of the situations around them.

Intervention is not aimed at just getting the dependent/addicted person to seek treatment, but it takes place on the environment.  It changes it so that the person can no longer comfortably exist.  When the environment no longer “enables” the person, he/she will become more available for treatment.

The “NO TALK” rule is the most destructive of all enabling behaviors.  It helps the person to continue the delusion that “it’s not that bad”, and when this exists, recovery is impossible.
Enabling of family/friends:

DENIAL

1. Expecting the dependent/addicted person to be rational
2. Expecting him/her to control his/her drinking or behavior.
3. Accepting blame for his/her problems

PARTICIPATING IN THE SAME BEHAVIORS WITH THE PERSON

JUSTIFYING THE BEHAVIOR WITH EXCUSES

1. Job
2. Finances
3. Children
4. Spouse
5. Parents

KEEPING FEELINGS INSIDE—Do not want to rock the boat

AVOIDANCE—saying “it’s not that bad, at least he doesn’t beat me up”.

PROTECT—because of the image of the family or self

BLAMING—usually self

LECTURING—over and over

TAKING OVER RESPONSIBILITIES—letting him/her off the hook

FEELING/ACTING SUPERIOR—treating the person like a child

CONTROLLING—saying “let’s skip the party this evening”

WAIT—God will take care of this

ENDURING—this too will pass

Enabling by professionals:

DOCTORS:

1. Failure to make proper diagnosis
2. Failure to identify symptoms
3. Failure to confront patients that appear to arrive for appointments under the influence
4. Prescribing sedatives for “nervousness” and refilling prescriptions without examinations

MINISTERS/PRIESTS/RABBIS:

1. Failure to identify dependency as a disease
2. Praying for recovery (without referring to any treatment)
3. Moralistically attacking the behavior
4. Attempting to manipulate through “guilt trips”

EMPLOYERS:

1. Accepts missed deadlines and sloppy work
2. Accepts being late for work/or leaving work early
3. Accepts adjusting schedules around lunch
4. Accepts obvious lies and continues paying

This all leads up to the behavior that causes the most problems in chemical dependency or other dependencies—the NO TALK RULE

If the family won’t talk, and the employer won’t talk, and the clergy won’t talk, HOW will we ever get the person to talk and seek treatment?

Schedule an assessment with an interventionist and learn how you can save the life of your loved one.  You will be starting the best walk of your life with those who understand and are willing to help you.

In this last article of Head, Heart and Feet, let’s take a look at how the counselor assists a client who is “stuck in his/her feet”.  These clients are people who react by running, staying busy, leaving jobs, homes, partners, therapists, therapy, and treatment ad infinitum when faced with a feeling or an overwhelming event.

The first suggestion we offer is:   STAND STILL.  DON’T MOVE.  Begin there. In other words, you can run, but you cannot hide.  These people always skip the heart because feelings terrify them.

The few feelings “feet people” find useful are anger and “busyness”. In finding fault with you and other people, places and things, I can then blame you and leave in a huff.  If I am trying to be all things to all people I keep myself busy by focusing on you.  In both scenarios, I am avoiding my own feelings.

Recognizing the “feet” client

The angry client and the people-pleasing client can easily be misread by the treatment staff or the therapist.  The counselor may spend most of the time defusing outbursts from the angry or settling disputes with peers or other staff or family members.  This “putting out fires” defocuses the real issues with this client.  Before long, treatment has ended and major issues have barely been identified.  This “feet client” is a master of crisis, a master of defocusing, and a master of running.  They leave 5 minutes before the miracle.  Many counselors will think “feet clients” have “anger issues” when they really have feeling issues of fear, and hurt.  They “vote with their feet” as if to say, “I will reject you before you reject me.”

The “busy and helpful” client may not look like a “stuck in the feet” client because they are so helpful, compliant and the “teacher’s pet”.  These people make an A+ in treatment.  They leave as empty as they came in.  These people are the original codependents, before there was such a name.  They learned early to hide their true self and show only what they wanted people to see of them.  There is always a hidden agenda.  Sometimes it is to keep you at arms length or it is so they can be all things to all people.  Both view keep them focused on others instead of themselves.

The “feet client” is one of the more difficult clients. Because their chameleon-like ways make them so adaptable, the counselor must look past the constantly changing smoke screens for deeper problems.

So now what do we do?

Cognitive restructuring, emotion identification and behavior strategies are all needed with this client.  Boundary setting is vital.  The angry client must not be allowed to pull staff, family or other clients into their crisis.  Bullying with anger should be identified by staff and peers upon each occurrence and then the client should be asked to interact in a new manner.  Contrary action may be a good solution for this client.

The helpful and seemingly perfect client needs to learn to ask for help.  An exercise for this client might be to not allow them to be helpful to others in any way for a 24 hour period, to write down all thoughts that are brought up by this activity and then discuss in group or with a counselor how this activity made them feel.

Once feelings are identified in a given setting, the counselor can ask a very important question, “When have you felt this feeling before?  Or “how old were you when you first felt like this?” The client will usually answer automatically.  Then ask them to describe the age or the scene when they felt like this first.  This feeling is usually the one they are running from by becoming angry or busy.  This technique will draw the feet client into their heart.  Remind them that if they survived the event (which obviously they did because they are sitting before you) they can survive the memory and accompanying feeling.

Once the action (feet) and the feeling (heart) are identified, begin to look at the thoughts they are telling themselves.  All action is born in thought but these “feet people” usually do not believe so. They claim they act first, feel second and think last, when in reality they have a thought, feel it and then act or react.  For example, one client said he was so angered by a friend who stole from him, his first reaction was to engage in a fist fight.  When we broke down the situation, he realized he first took action (feet) because he was resentful (heart).  Such action was fueled by the resentful feeling which was fueled by his belief system (head) that he could trust no one.  Old ideas must be explored if “feet people” are to learn to process feelings and change behavior.

Excitement, joy, anger, frustration, and disappointment are all part of growing up. Learning how and when to show these emotions is known as impulse control.  Therefore the counselor must be able to role model appropriate impulse control.

Recovery can be full spectrum living.  When feelings, thoughts, and actions are in sync the spirit is at rest.  Peacefulness from inside out is possible no matter what circumstances are occurring.  A truly peaceful person does not struggle within self.  Balance becomes a way of living so your true self can shine through.

We hope you have found some useful tools in our Head, Heart and Feet articles so you may assist clients with an integrated recovery of body, mind and spirit.

See you next time.

Peace and Blessings to you all.

But then I remember I will be one of the people in history for those to come in the future.

Will I be one of the great ones remembered; am I around greatness right now?  In all the movies, books and stories about people whom somehow overcame the odds through perilous circumstances, there are the obstacles and people who were standing in the way of their greatness.

Eeeeeh-Gads! My worst nightmare: “What if I were standing in the way of somebody’s greatness?”  As an interventionist I’d like to think I’m one of the people who helps others get past the obstacle’s standing in their way.  But working with addiction is tricky and sometimes even your best effort has the door slamming in your face and feeling like the boogey man.

Along with my intervention services, I’ve worked with teenagers who have been kicked out of school for all kinds of dastardly deeds–alcohol and drug abuse, gang activity, misdemeanors, possession of weapons and so on.  I’ve seen massive anger, destruction and greed from all kinds of adolescents and I’d be lying to say that I’m not challenged at times with some of them.  Being that I pride myself on overcoming such poor human traits as judging, punishing, threatening, controlling, criticizing, blaming and nagging towards others, I still look to outside help for balance when dealing with such tough cookies.  Interestingly, help comes to me in many unique messages and fascinating ways; even some great people from history show up for me subliminally.  I find if I get still long enough and ask the universe for assistance, my day is most certain to contain some rather captivating moments.

One day during a workshop/lecture I was attending, the speaker asked the audience if we had at least one person who cared about us unconditionally. She proceeded to ask if we had two, then three, four and up to five people who cared about us.  Many hands were raised as she went on to explain that research showed if you had five people who cared about you unconditionally you were considered a very lucky person.  Afterwards I thought to ask that question to some of the teenagers I worked with.  When they said yes to five, I relayed to them the how lucky they were study.  But when I had others who couldn’t come up with even one, I stopped dead in my tracks as my awareness opened to the other side of the study, which was for those who were not among the lucky.  With a lump in my throat and ache in my solar plexus I wouldn’t relay the study results but I’d try and look into their eyes.  The only message I had to convey was, “You have one, you’ve got me.”  Interestingly, these were the moments that reminded me how very lucky I was, and where the most important work would begin with them.

Then there’s the time when no one at our site could get a sixteen-year-old boy to talk.  I asked him off to the side if he could help me with some research I was doing.  He looked at me and said, “If you knew what you waz doin’ you wouldn’t be doin’ research.”  BANG! What do you do with that?  He saw right through my disguise.  Then I recalled that it sounded like something I’d heard before.  I said, “Didn’t Einstein say that?”  He said, “Einstein?  Don’t knowz nobodyz named Einstein.  You stupid if you doin’ research.”  I said,  “Yeah, I guess, but you just quoted one of the smartest men on earth.”  He said, “Whaaaat?”  I said, “Yeah–tell me you didn’t know that?”  “Oz don’tz knowz nothin’.  That’z whyz I’mz heerz,” he said.  I sat there and stared at him in disbelief.  After a minute he said to me, “ So’s whoz thiz Einsteinz anywayz?” And we were off to the races with one whopper of a session.  All I can say is Einstein wherever you are THANK YOU.

Another time I showed “The Secret” and “What The Bleep Do We Know?”  As expected, some of it was over their heads, but many things did kick off some colorful discussions.  They sparked up to the dramatization regarding our thoughts and how it can dictate how a situation in our life goes.  A new meaning came to life when we discussed the concept of, “when you’re fighting life, life fights you.”  Keeping in mind that many of the young adults I work with are involved in gangs and gang activities, not to mention the need for substantially more positive pictures of how their life could be, we discussed a great deal on the level of manifestation.  First, I was amazed they actually understood how manifestation works.  And second, I would have given anything for a video camera to record the fun they were having with this new vocabulary word and applying it to their world.  Later on, two tough guys from opposing gangs were beginning to escalate in a combative manner when the one looked at the other and said, “Who invited you to my illusion?”  Everyone burst out laughing and victory was had by all as I witnessed a true understanding between the two that they were both choosing each other and the circumstance they were in.  Who would have thought Hollywood could’ve been such a good teacher?

This past summer I was moved and inspired by Randy Prausch, the writer of “The Last Lecture.”  His book having been written in the last year of his life after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer left his family and this world with scores of powerful messages.  I immediately sent for the video because I had to hear what his pearls of wisdom would say.  I have listened to it several times for his acumen on life and golden wit of humor.  I made note of many things but none so much as the divine advice to, “give people enough time and they will astound you.”  Dealing with the population I work with, I had to wrap this gem up in my mind’s memory bank for safe keeping.  Ever since I heard this phrase my experience with others especially in frustrating circumstances has transformed.  A particularly difficult teen I was working with this past year who could not read or work with numbers, was born into a family in which everyone belonged to a gang and, needless to say, had an attitude filled with venom.  I thought of what “The Last Lecture” said and decided all I had was time, so let’s see what happens.  Weeks went by and he was complaining about being bored.  Exasperatingly I said, “What would you like to do?”  He said, “Got anythin’ lectronic I can fix?”  I didn’t off hand, but the next day I brought in a clock I had that wouldn’t work.  He fixed it.  I was blown away.  We had a VCR at the site that didn’t work so I told him to take a crack at that and he fixed that too.   He soon became our on-site tech and his self-esteem shot through the roof.  I wondered, “Would Virginia Tech take someone who couldn’t read or work with numbers?”

One day I had a seventeen-year old boy come in with his mother. During the in-take they both sat up straight and were very attentive, agreeable and polite.  Something I don’t ever see.  I asked him if he had any goals.  He said, “I want to drive a forklift.”  I thought, “This is weird; I never had a kid actually say they had a goal before.”  The first day he worked meticulously the whole day through, I thought to myself—“pretty good act.”  The week went by and still the same behavior I thought—“hmmm, this is really strange.”  The next two weeks he kept up with the same impressive behavior.  Then one day I walked in, and he wasn’t there.  My supervisor told me, “He’s in jail and he won’t be back.  Sorry, Mackie, we missed out on this one.”  I ran to the phone and called his probation officer who by law couldn’t tell me anything.  I called his mother and she responded that he had tested dirty on a drug test so the judge put him in jail for sixteen days after which he’d be given a different placement.  I asked her, “Do you think your son has a problem with drugs?”  “OH NO! It’s not that, he’s very good and trying very hard…blah, blah, blah.” I interrupted her and said, “I’m not trying to make him wrong, if your son has a problem with drugs I’m an interventionist and one of the things I do is get people to the right kind of help.”  She stopped and burst out in desperation, “I’ve been in recovery for five months for crystal-meth and he’s trying to clean up too.  I know what he’s going through.”  I said, “Really! Congratulations!  That’s huge!  Did you know that since he’s still under eighteen and he has a parent in recovery that he qualifies for free help?” I ended up writing a letter to the judge and he spent the summer at drug camp in Malibu (pretty different from sitting in jail).  Six months later he stopped by clean and sober and was back in school.  He let me know he didn’t want to drive a forklift anymore.  He wanted to go to college.  You’re right again Randy Prauch—you give people enough time and they will astound you.

When it comes down to it, I feel I’ve learned more from these young troubled adults I’ve worked with than they have from me.  And being that I keep receiving such sage advice from the universe, I can’t help but think, “After all the great stories of famous people, the trials and tribulations they succeeded from…. maybe I too am in the presence of greatness.”

Whenever I catch a frog’s eye I am aware of this, but I do not find it depressing.
I stand quite still and try hard not to move or lift a hand since it would only frighten him.
And standing thus it finally comes to me
that this is the most enormous extension of vision of which life is capable:
the projection of itself into other lives.
This is the lonely, magnificent power of humanity.
It is, far more than any spatial adventure,
the supreme epitome of the reaching out.

-Loren Eiseley

In this third article we will assist the counselor in moving the “HEART” person toward their HEAD, so they do not live in crisis and drama. When the head and heart are able to share and process input without the exclusion of one another, the client can then live from that balanced place where rational thinking and appropriate feeling meet.

So, how does a counselor assist a drama prone client to move out of the drama and in to a more rational pose?  Depression and pain can become so great the client either becomes frozen and unable to take action, or becomes so volatile they become impulsive and histrionic.

The first suggestion we offer is:   Pray!  No, really.  Begin there.  A good counselor always invites Spirit into the session and asks for inspiration to help the client sitting before them.  As a counselor, you have training in ways to help your clients, but Spirit knows the journey your client is on and you are only one of many who cross the client’s path during the process of recovery.  You are not the ONE responsible for their recovery.  We list this suggestion first because all counselors are vulnerable to countertransference.  The dramatic client, the one “stuck in feelings” can come across as the super victim, the helpless one, the injured party, the fragile one and on and on.  This type client might trigger the counselor’s need to help in some super power, super human, knight in shining armor or guardian angel kind of way.  Do this and you will foster the client’s dependency upon you.  Boundaries can become blurred very easily in this situation and the outcome can be unhealthy for client and counselor.

The dramatic client can trigger another kind of countertransference in the counselor. Here the counselor may dislike or disrespect people who “cannot control their emotions” so when the client disintegrates into an emotional state, the counselor reacts in a stern, cold manner.  The more withholding the counselor becomes, the needier the client becomes, thereby setting an even more vicious cycle in motion.  So, counselor, get your own ego and issues out of the way. Counselors can benefit from going to therapy themselves!

Secondly, highly emotional people may find themselves acting impulsively, yet claiming they were driven by feelings.  Before the action or the feeling there is a thought that drives both.  Clients may not have a clue what the thought was but discovering the toxic thought that preceded the feeling or behavior is key to understanding how they move through the world. Here is an exercise that might be helpful for your clients.

CHANGING OLD IDEAS or CORE BELIEFS ©

© Jeanie Griffin of FRESH OUTTA PLANS  www.freshouttaplans.com

The facts get in the way of the Truth.

The facts are “the story”.  Those facts that support the story are things we draw into our life to prove something. For example: If my core belief is, “Men cannot be trusted”, then I will send that mental state out into the Universe and draw men to me that prove my belief.  I will then say to you, “See, I told you men cannot be trusted!”  If my core belief is, “Women just want money from a man”, then I will draw to me women who are materialistic minded.  If I want my life to change, I must change my thinking.  If you want to know what beliefs drive your thinking, look at what is happening in your life.  If you want something to change, you must find old core beliefs, then ask Spirit to remove them and give you a demonstration of the opposite.  “Some of us tried to hold on to old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely”³

1. Write a BRIEF description of what happened.
2. Then list all beliefs OF YOURS (not theirs) that arise out of that circumstance.  Don’t worry if they are irrational, just write.  Keep listing until you feel inside you have the core belief.  Call someone to help with this process if you want or need to do so.
3. Once a core belief is exposed ask God to transform this belief.  Say, “  Just for this instant I am willing to set aside judgment about___________________, so I _________________.  One instant at a time claim understanding.

As you go through your life and something crops up, ask which core belief has been triggered and repeat the above process on the spot.

Ex:
Circumstance:
I lost my job.  I am very angry at my boss.  I can blame him for my troubles and take the victim stance or if I have the courage to change the things I can, I will take a look at my thinking and ask myself, “In what way could my thoughts have contributed to this outcome?”

Old Beliefs operating in this case might be:
Nothing good ever lasts.
Life has to be a struggle.
I will always be poor.
I should never have left________(person or place or thing)

Core Belief:  (A summary of the beliefs listed above)
God will take care of others financially but not me.

Once core belief is identified, pray something like this:

Just for this instant I can forgive myself my current belief system.  It is an illusion that God will not provide for me financially. Just for this instant I am willing to set aside judgment that Spirit will not provide for me, so I can experience God’s abundant provision in whatever form that takes.  I let go of the outcome and give my God full control.

There are very good cognitive (thinking) therapies that help people move through overwhelming feelings.  Cognitive-behavioral therapy does not exist as a distinct therapeutic technique. The term “cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)” is a very general term for a classification of therapies with similarities.  There are several approaches to cognitive-behavioral therapy, including Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, Rational Living Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy. Another very useful therapy is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) developed by Francine Shapiro, PhD.   If you are not familiar with therapies or you need more practice using them, find a book, a course, a conference or mentor, to teach you how to incorporate them into your skill set.

More unknown, but also effective, are alternative therapies to assist in emotional healing and integration. Through less talking and more experiential methods, these include physical therapies such as acupuncture, and acupressure.  Energy work such as Reiki, Theta Healing™, Chakra Balancing, Massage Therapy and Cranio Sacral work are also useful in moving emotional blocks and helping to balance the mind, body and spirit.  Practitioners offering this work must be certified, so counselors can send clients to them as a supplement to traditional care. These methods are not a substitute for medical or psychiatric care.

Lastly, a Shamanic Practitioner is another alternative spiritual and emotional healer.  Shamanic Practitioners view illness from a spiritual perspective although it may manifest as a physical or emotional illness. Shamanic Practitioners go into an alter state of consciousness to consult with the spirits. Because they see illness as a loss of power or loss of part of the soul they facilitate power animal retrieval or soul retrievals as healing practices.  Learn more about shamanism online and in bookstores.

To update our readers, please note the change in our hats!  Candy now wears a tiara for her national intervention work based in Beverly Hills and LA. Jeanie, in her new cowgirl hat, has opened a new private practice in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area where she is a traditional counselor and shamanic practitioner at www.ASpaceForHealing.com.

In our next article, we will help you move those impulsive “feet” people into integrated thinking, feeling and acting so they live in balance of mind, body and spirit.

Peace and Blessings to you all.

_{All Rights Reserved. March 2009. Written by Jeanie Griffin, MFT, LPC, CADC, BRI II. Jeanie Griffin and Candy Finnigan are two addiction ladies whose work is grounded in simplicity, driven by spirituality, fueled by a sense of humor and dedicated to healing the lives of individuals, families, communities and the planet. Find more about them at www.TwoAddictionLadies.com and www.FreshOuttaPlans.com.  Send your questions, comments or ideas to info@twoaddictionladies.com.}

_{Jeanie Griffin 817-965-2206    Candy Finnigan 818-424-8044}

When asked by a counselor, “How do you feel about your best friend moving to another town?” Amy replied, “I think it is a great move for her.”  This response is common for someone who thinks feelings instead of feeling them.   Such responses often offer a defense against the pain of having to feel feelings.  Freud identified defense mechanisms such as intellectualization, isolation of affect and rationalization as ways to avoid feeling. Over explaining, defending and rationalizing are common verbal expressions of thinkers or “head people”.   Adult Children of Alcoholism often compartmentalize feelings or “sanitize them” in an attempt to have control over the unpredictable waves of emotion that sweep over them as they live through the events they experienced in hurtful homes. While this illusion of control offers safety from unpredictable feelings, the client becomes robbed of spontaneous emotional responses to events.  The counselor’s challenge is to create a safe place and use safe techniques whereby the client may begin to explore feelings instead of converting feelings into thoughts.

One way to facilitate the expression of feelings is to use quotes, poems, writings or songs of others expressing feelings and combine such works with non verbal and verbal techniques for sharing experiences.  We would like to suggest some possible works for you to use in your groups.

1)    Aaron Neville’s To Make Me Who I Am,
“I’ve walked through this world sometimes
Without a friend
My life has been up and down
Been close to an end
But I’ve been through the mill
And I’ve paid my dues
Walked so many miles in different
People’s shoes.
I’ve been through the fire
And I’ve walked in the rain
I’ve felt the joy and endured the pain

2)    Around the Year with Emmet Fox , A Book of Daily Readings, 1931
“God has not made you without a definite purpose in view.  The Universe is a universe, that is, it is a unified harmony, a divine scheme.  It could not happen therefore, that God could create a spiritual entity such as you are, without having a special purpose in view, a special place for you.  Whatever the place may be, there can only be one person who can fill it perfectly………Discontent is not necessarily a bad thing. It is your duty to be discontented with anything less than complete harmony and happiness.  A wholesome discontent with dullness, failure, and frustration is your incentive for overcoming such things.  Whoever you are, your true place is calling; and, because you really are a spark of the Divine, you will never be content until you answer.”

3)    Around the Year with Emmet Fox, A Book of Daily Readings, 1931
“Suppose that you had an invisible recorder on your shoulders tomorrow morning. At the end of the day, suppose that this record were played over to you so that every word you uttered for a whole day was repeated to you. Well, if you are like the average human being you would probably be embarrassed. Yet it really does happen that everything we say and think and do is recorded —- in the subconscious mind—and our daily experience is simply that record being played over to us. Never forget that the circumstances of your life tomorrow are molded by your mental conduct of today.”  — Emmet Fox

4)    A Course in Miracles, vol 1, page 536:
The only thing that is required for a healing is a lack of fear—nothing more than one instant of your love without attack is necessary.

Using these or other works of expression that you might find useful, ask clients to:

• Read the quote out loud in group.
• Sit in silence for 2 minutes letting the reading and the feelings resonate.
• Ask clients to re-read the quote silently again asking themselves how the reading applies in their own life.
• Distribute blank paper and colored markers or crayons and ask clients to draw a picture that illustrates their feelings.
• Share with each other.
• Ask clients to offer a favorite song or quote that affected them deeply

Do not expect “head” people to be able to “emote” on the spot.  This exercise may bring up many feelings for them that might be expressed as anger, disgust, irritation, or resistance.  Do not be tricked by the appearance of insensitivity.  Keep digging gently. More will be revealed. Good luck!

Next, we will help you move those dramatic “heart” people into their heads.